The Fool's Journey

So I guess it's time to talk about why I'm really blogging again, and why December 2008 will live in my memory for a very long time.

Like many professional women of my generation, I've been a hard-working career girl who allowed herself to be deeply defined by her day job. My mother gave up her nursing career to be a stay-at-home-mom. Growing up in the 80s, I saw her life as old-fashioned, and swore my life would be different. I would be a "feminist", and feminists didn't stay home with the kids. So a few years out of college I wormed my way into a career job and worked my way up. I worked overtime, stayed awake nights worrying about deadlines, and carried the stress in every fiber of my being.

Somewhere in there, I also managed to build a rich and busy personal life too, but my job still defined a huge part of who I was. I did that for more than eleven years. That is, I did that until I became a statistic, and was laid off like many other very talented people.

Now I know you're not supposed to let a job define who you are. But I'm a type-A personality in a lot of ways. I obsess. And it wasn't like I was just making widgets. OK, so it wasn't life or death, either, but I felt that what I did had importance and was worth putting in the extra effort to make sure it was done right. I let my job define a very large chunk of who I thought I was, even though I knew somewhere deep down inside that I shouldn't, that I was asking for trouble. So, when the pink slip came, whoa girl, identity crisis!

The first thing I noticed was that the work stress evaporated in a flash. I instantly became a much nicer person to live with. But I'm still working my way through the rest of the acceptance and moving-on process. It would be one thing if I could find a job similar to my last one and just move into the next phase of my career, but my job was pretty unique, and having a very young child and living where we do limits my options for the moment. That means I'm also in the midst of a career change, and, with this economy, probably going the consultant/freelance route.

The prospect of going freelance is both freeing and mind-blowing at the same time. At first, I just couldn't think of a project I should work on. If I did come up with an original idea, the critic in my brain instantly shut it down. I had to break free of my old ways of doing things, of relying on a third party to determine which ideas were worthy of my time, and sometimes even coming up with the new ideas themselves. But eventually the ideas started to flow. Time wore a hole through my old ways of thinking. But then the opposite was true -- I had too many ideas, and I was The Fool stuck at the intersection of a million crossroads, unable to pick a path and move forward.

In many ways, I'm still that Fool, with society and the economy playing the role of the little white dog barking at my heels, urging me to just pick a direction, any direction, and move forward with all haste. Well, I'm here to say that I've picked a path, and if Fate agrees with me you'll see it evolve here over time. But you're also going to have to be patient, because I'm on an uncharted dirt road with a kid in the back seat. We're probably going to have to make a few side trips for crackers and to smell the roses. That's just what you have to do when you're traveling with a toddler, and this time his travel experience is as much a concern to me as mine is.

It's Cold Season Again...

Our whole family has been battling the same freaking head cold now for going on two weeks. It started out as a minor sniffle here and there, just enough to use up all the tissues and super-easy meals in the house, before it got serious. Kiddo now randomly runs a really low fever, but only long enough for me or another adult to become aware of it and then it goes away. This is getting old. Here are a few of my observations.

Some stuff just works.

• A hot shower or bath in the morning really clears the head of gunk.
  
• Vicks is fabulous, and whover thought of putting the stuff in Puffs Plus should be sainted.
  
• Burt's Bees lip balm is addicting. And they make "lip shimmers" now, so us ladies can still look our best even when we feel miserable.
  
• Red tea with a touch of honey is great on the throat.
  
• Everyone should own a heated mattress pad.
  
• Chicken soup makes a great chaser to a cough drop.
  

Do you notice anything? All of these are little comforts, non-medicated soothers. They make no claim to eradicate the problem. They just help you deal with the symptoms so that you can rest and your little white blood cells can go to war against those big bad bugs.

I've tried zinc, Mucinex DM, decongestants, and cold medicines made for people with high blood pressure. I couldn't tell that the zinc or the Mucinex did a blessed thing, the decongestant dried me out so bad it made my nose bleed, and the HBP stuff just made me loopy. Nothing works the way they say it will. I think it's all a conspiracy by the drug manufacturers to make money.

Remember the big hullabaloo about a year ago over baby decongestants and cold medicines? The doctors said there wasn't enough evidence that the stuff worked to make the risk of drug overdose worthwhile. Now you can't even find an OTC cold medicine that says you can use it on a child under 2, and even those are a rarity. Most of the medicines say they start at age 4 or 6. Considering my track record with cold medicines so far, my guess is that cold medicines are available for older kids and adults only because the risk of overdose is lower, not because there's any evidence that they work better in people over 2 (or 4, or 6). And have you seen the retail price on some of these things? They're astronomical! Just more evidence that they're out to make money, not help us get over our colds faster.

So, if you have a recommendation on a cold medicine that kicks butt, especially for a 19-month-old, let me know. Otherwise I'm sticking to my Vicks and chicken soup.

Big Government Kills Entrepreneurs

Have you heard about the CPSIA (Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act)? No? Do you have kids or know someone who does? Then read on...

The government, in a knee-jerk reaction to the recent headline-making lead contamination problems, passed a new law requiring extensive testing of children's products. All products intended for children 12 and under now need to have all their components tested for lead contamination. Sounds good, right? On the surface, it is. But let's read the fine print...

The law requires testing of every component of every unique product design or style. Let's say that three different children's products use the same button -- maybe in a coordinated collection of a shirt, sweater, and bag. Rather than testing the button once, it has to be tested three times -- once for each product it's used in. Can you say "Wasteful"? I knew you could!

The law is very unclear whether different fabrics constitute different products, or whether fabrics need to be tested at all. So far lawmakers have refused to clarify the law. Which means that, to make sure they're in compliance, manufacturers need to test each fabric -- and that same button -- again! Never mind the fact that it's scientifically impossible for fabric to retain enough lead from the dying process to fail the test in the first place. "Shortsighted" is an understatement.

The law makes no provisions for small businesses, handcrafters, or manufacturers of custom products. Big box manufacturers can spread the cost of testing over multiple units, but smaller manufacturers will have to pass the cost on to the consumer, raising the per-unit price far beyond market tolerances. Say "Goodbye" to thousands and thousands of small businesses and entrepreneurships, and "Hello" to an unemployment line the likes of which few alive today have ever seen. And, for those of you still making money in this economy, say "Goodbye" to your favorite kids' boutique.

The law includes "previously owned" items up for resale. Anyone who has spent any time around kids knows how quickly they outgrow clothes and toys. There's a huge market for used children's items in resale shops. It saves parents money. It keeps kids' stuff out of landfills. It keeps thrift stores afloat. Say "Goodbye" to all those benefits and "Hello" to a new local dump.

Washington was very short-sighted in passing this law. They succumbed to the cries of parents demanding that our children be protected from contaminated imports and blindly wrote a law that is complete overkill and will only contribute to the downward-spiral of our economy. Every industry impacted by this law has submitted questions, but so far Washington refuses to answer. Many have recommended modifications to the law that will retain the spirit of the law but allow responsible small business owners to stay in business, but the suggestions appear to be falling on deaf ears.

This section of the law goes into effect on January 30. There is no time to lose. Small business owners are already closing their doors assuming Washington will let us down, and they're probably right. From what I can tell, they're more interested in deciding what they'll wear to the inauguration. Well, if your children are going with you to that historic event, I hope you don't plan to resell their clothes.

Soup Swap Day!

I really love soup. Every year when the trees start turning and the winter vegetables start showing up in the produce department of the grocery story, I get the urge to make soup. It feeds my soul. It warms the body from the inside out on cold days, it's nutritious, and it's usually easy and inexpensive to make. My husband and I even craved soup in the middle of summer when we were adjusting to life with a newborn -- it was easy to reheat when our dinner plans were interrupted by a crying baby or surprise visitors.

A few Christmases ago, I asked for and received a copy of Soup: A Way of Life by Barbara Kafka. I have been known to sit and page through this book for hours curled up on the sofa with a cozy blanket. Inevitably, it leads to a trip to the grocery store and ends with a very full freezer. That's why I got so excited today to read that January 24th is National Soup Swap Day.

So who wants to join with me in the fun? Now I just have to decide which soup to make!

To Handcraft or Not to Handcraft?

So, I've been thinking about opening an Etsy shop to sell my own knitting patterns and handmade items. I've also been enjoying shopping for handcrafted items lately, almost always online, and possibly partially because I have some PayPal money to burn. I thought I was getting on board the handmade movement in every way I could.

But today I attended a local craft fair and felt let down. I wanted to support the crafters there, but there was only one item I barely managed to get excited about, and in the end I decided not to buy it because of quality concerns. Nothing seemed innovative and few items seemed well-made. Every second or third stall sold jewelry, the ones next to them sold bedazzled t-shirts or grotesque garden imps, and the random stalls in-between sold other stuff I just didn't have any interest in. I attended with the intention of buying a new apron, but only found flag themes, cutesy prints that should have died with the '80s, and incredibly thin and useless fabrics.

Am I fooling myself that the online crafting community sells better stuff because I can't see the quality and I've been lucky in my purchases so far, or is there really a difference? Maybe it's easier to find what I'm looking for online because I can access the best handcrafters around the country, and locally I'm limited to folks within rock-throwing distance. And they, of course, are only going to make what they can sell in this very limited setting. I don't know what to think, but I'm certainly going to think twice before I waste my time attending another local craft fair.

Why All the Guilt?

Talk about a rat race.

Sure, parents have always competed with each other over whose baby is smarter, healthier, or more physically accomplished. Naturally, we all think our child is the best at everything. But, these days, we also compete with each other for "Best Mom" status. Who makes the most sacrifices, who spends the most money, who makes Mary Poppins look like a slacker... I don't remember my mom going through this, so I think it's a recent development. (Although I could be wrong. I was just a baby back then, after all.)

The conversation in our heads goes something like this: "Well, I'm a better mom because I breastfeed," says one. "Yeah, well we cosleep," responds another. "We buy only organic food, toys, and clothes," says mom number three, then takes a sip of her latte. Mom number four goes on the defensive and says "I don't have time for all that. Don't you people know you can buy diapers without pins these days?" We never actually say it this way, but that's how many of us interpret a conversation that includes breastfeeding, cosleeping, organic baby products, and being a working mom.

I see this all the time. I'm admittedly a pretty crunchy parent. We co-sleep. I babywear. We use cloth diapers and make our own baby food. When I talk about these things with more mainstream moms, they tend to go on the defensive. But I just want to share my experiences and hear what other moms have to say because maybe I can learn something useful from them. I don't expect people to run out and parent the way we do. We've made the choices we've made because it's what works for us, and different things work for different people. But many people still go on the defensive when all I'm trying to do is to relate to another mom.

Take the whole breastfeeding thing. We use formula. That's it. "We use formula." End of story. No apologies, no arguments, no "I tried to, but..." I'm secure in the informed decision we made, and feel no need to make apologies for it, or to explain it. That's why I just don't get this whole defensive response parents tend to have when talking with other parents.

Gather your information, look at your child and your life, and decide what is best for you. Then move on. Life is too short and babies grow up too fast to keep rehashing a decision just because the Joneses zigged while you zagged.

...And Again...

I had a blog post brewing in my brain about the Lane Bryant killings a week or two ago in Tinley Park, and then the NIU shootings happened last night. So, let's address them both now, shall we?

My heart goes out to the victims and families affected by these shootings. They're tragedies, plain and simple. And I understand that people are grieving and are hurt by these events, and feel the need to strike out at something. But I have to take issue with the knee-jerk reaction to use such tragedy as an excuse to deprive law-abiding citizens of the right to defend themselves and their loved ones from exactly this kind of threat.

Let's think about this for a second. Nearly everyone is falling over backwards to praise the NIU security team for their quick response -- I've heard figures such as three minutes bandied about -- and yet the head of security himself says that the whole incident was over before security got to the scene. Five innocent people, plus the shooter himself, dead in under three minutes, and many more wounded.

A lot of really bad stuff can happen in the span of time it takes for law enforcement to become aware of a threat and to arrive on the scene, folks. But there is a good number of people out there just roaming the streets and minding their own business who have the skills and the tools to defend not only themselves and their loved ones, but you, too, if you happen to be in their vacinity when something bad goes down. People like current and former law enforcement, current and former military, other trained first responders, and ordinary citizens who have taken up defensive pistol shooting as a hobby. Why shouldn't these highly qualified individuals be allowed to carry a weapon to further increase your personal safety?

Had a single student or teacher been so trained and equipped, had a single random shopper been allowed to carry concealed after completing an appropriate training program, we might have fewer innocent victims, not just around Chicagoland, but around the country.

Let me tell you a story. When I attended my first major defensive pistol competition as a simple observer, I was understandably a bit shaken to see everyone walking around with a gun on their hip. It's not something we're used to in the Chicago suburbs. But a funny thing happened -- everyone was as polite as could be to everyone else. No one was rude or obnoxious. I stopped worrying about leaving my car unlocked, or my purse unattended. And at the end of the day, when everyone was packing up, a bear wandered out of the woods at the opposite end of the field we were parked in. Rather than being scared by a bear in our midst, we all stood around, amused, and watched the bear look us over and then go back into the woods.

Guns in the right hands are tools. They are nothing to be afraid of. Guns in the right hands will NOT be stolen by criminals unless it's over our dead bodies, because we are responsible enough to store them securely and are trained to make sure that we'll shoot the bad guys before the bad guys get our guns. These are the only people who will qualify for a theoretical concealed-carry permit. These are the people who can defend you if your world collapses while they happen to be nearby. These are the people you want to disarm and turn into victims-in-waiting just like you.

Criminals and mentally-ill individuals bent on violence will always have access to guns, no matter what kinds of laws exist. Think about it. Criminals by definition don't follow the law, so restricting the sale of guns to law abiding citizens won't reduce access one iota. I support sensible gun control laws that keep criminals and mentally-ill people from legally purchasing guns. But excessive "gun-control" legislation only keeps law abiding citizens from exercising their right to be their own -- and your -- first responder.

We've had enough victims recently in the Chicago area. Let's not create any more, shall we?

Car Warranty Scam

So we moved into the new house. We have a new phone number. Very few friends and family have it. No businesses or services have it. One morning I go outside to find I have a flat tire. I call Volvo roadside assistance and give them our new phone number. They come out and help me. Really nice guy, great service.

Within an hour I get a pre-recorded nasty-attitude call from an unspecified company stating that my Volvo warranty is about to expire and that they "have contacted me on multiple occasions regarding this problem" and I "have been unresponsive." They urge me to "rectify this situation immediately."

Huh? Excuse me? It's not like I'm late on my car payment. Extended warranties are optional. And you expect to make sales taking that kind of tone with me, pre-recorded no less? What do you take me for, an idiot?

I press the button to "opt out" of the offer. The line goes dead. I figure that's the end. But they keep calling. At least twice a week.

I try to opt out with the menu option they give me. It doesn't work. I try to talk to a person to "rectify this situation immediately." Surprisingly, even that doesn't get me a live person, when theoretically they've got a patsy one the line. I try to bitch to Volvo, since obviously they gave out my number. I get transfered around from one CS rep to the next, and never to the supervisor I was promised repeatedly I'd speak to next. I try to talk to the phone company. They "can't" help me without a police report, unless, of course, we buy caller-ID.

We're on the do-not-call list, people. This group is breaking Federal law. What good is the do-not-call list if it doesn't stop scams like this and no one has the authority to go after them (or, more likely, is willing to go after them)?

I don't have time for this. And our nation doesn't have time for Congress to go making all sorts of laws that make the lawmakers look good but do nothing to improve the lives of ordinary citizens one iota.

I'm SO Voting for Dolores!

http://the-panopticon.blogspot.com/2008/02/my-fellow-americans.html

Weird Is a Relative Concept

Some high-school friends and I had a saying: "Weird is a relative concept."

The phrase came from a now-deposed Christian fundamentalist comic (how funny it seems today that I was ever a fan of his work, and even collected his albums), yet these particular words still ring quite true for me. If you're different from the norm, you don't feel that different when you surround yourself with others just as different as you.

That's the story of my life. Many of my attitudes and closely held beliefs are decidedly un-mainstream. But for years I have consciously surrounded myself with like-minded friends and online communities where my philosophies are considered more or less "normal." So, while I have always known I was different, I was surrounded by so many others who were different in the same way that I was that I forgot what it was really like to be different. Does that make sense?

Well, becoming a mom for the first time changes the circles in which you operate. Or at least it has for me. Suddenly I have this thing in common with the relatives that I've drifted away from because, in my previous life, I didn't have anything in common with them. My baby also seems to give other moms free reign to strike up a conversation in the pediatrician's office or the grocery store when before I would have been anonymous. And I find myself frequenting entirely different online communities than I ever did before.

Now I realize just how "different" I am.

I babywear in suburban yuppie central where the stroller reigns supreme. I use cloth diapers in the midst of our ultra-disposable society. We co-sleep with our baby while our day care provider asks why he isn't accustomed to sleeping alone in a crib. And I respond immediately when my baby cries while everyone else talks about fostering independence at an early age.

Not only do these practices make me odd in the suburban-working-mom circles that I run in, but my fierce independence and the fact that I work outside the home make me odd in attachment parenting circles, too. For a while I found support for my attachment parenting practices on various boards around the Internet, but those are mostly frequented by conservative stay-at-home moms who often say "My husband won't let me do X."

Gets on soap box--
Your husband won't LET you? What is this, 1807???
Gets off soap box--
Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest. Moving on...

I think I'm in the middle of a paradigm shift. Or at least I think that's what the experts would call it. With Conner in the picture now, I can't really keep myself sheltered in my little world where, relatively speaking, my weirdness is considered normal. I have a feeling, as I deal with parent-teacher conferences and soccer games, that I'm just going to have to get used to that old feeling I had in grade school where I just plain ol' didn't fit in. Oh, what a joy this is going to be.

But I have to say that I'm a little proud of myself that I'm not giving in. Despite all this new pressure to do as everyone else does, I'm not doing as everyone else does. And I hope to raise Conner to believe in two very specific things. First, that he's not a lemming and doesn't have to do what everyone else around him is doing. And second, that people who are different shouldn't be treated any differently than everyone else. If he internalizes those concepts, I think I'll have done my job as a parent.

And, who knows. Maybe he'll be weird, too, and find a group in which his weirdness is also a relative concept.

Am I That Odd?

So I'm practicing natural parenting. We use cloth diapers (except at daycare two days a week -- but I'm still working on our sitter), I prefer to wear my baby rather than to lug him around in a molded plastic bucket, he sleeps next to me in a cosleeper bassinet, and I'm gearing up to make our own baby food. The cloth diapers and the homemade baby food are things I've wanted to do for years, but the babywearing and the cosleeping are things that just evolved once our little guy arrived.

When I see people staring at my baby sling in the grocery store or our sitter asks incredulously "Where does he sleep?" after I comment on how he looks so tiny in her huge crib, I feel like I'm the only parent in the world doing these things. But then I hop online and find a huge population of mamas bucking tradition just like me. If I hang out there long enough I start to feel "normal," but then I get another rude awakening the next time Conner and I walk out the door.

I think part of it is that we live on the edge of suburbia, where SUVs and minivans reign supreme and you fit in with your neighbors by not rocking the boat. You can't care very much about what other people think in order to buck the majority in the suburbs. I get the sense that things are different in the city, where huge strollers aren't feasible in ancient third-floor walkups and everyone is crammed in so tight that they've learned to accept one another's differences.

Judging from the traffic on various natural parenting Internet hangouts, our ranks are growing. I can only hope that, by the time Conner is old enough to care about how weird everyone thinks his mother is, my style of parenting will be in vogue. Part of me worries about making his childhood more difficult by being "the crunchy mom" on the block, but another part of me asks "Isn't it your duty as a parent to embarrass the hell out of your children?"

Here We Go Again

Another "loaner" has gone off the deep end and gone on a killing spree before committing suicide himself. Now students are suspended for saying they can understand how some people snap like that, and socially awkward students are perceived as dangerous. It's Columbine all over again.

Don't get me wrong. I'm sad for the students of Virginia Tech who have to live with the experience for the rest of their lives, and I'm sad for the families that lost loved ones to this tragedy. I'm also sad that the shooter never got the psychological help he needed. But over the last six years, this country has gotten into the habit of infringing upon citizens' rights every time a tragedy occurs in an attempt to "keep this from ever happening again." And it's got to stop.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: freedom is difficult and comes with a price tag. It means that we have to tolerate people who are different from us, whether we like it or not. So what if the kid next door is a little "different" and writes dark stories? He might be the next Stephen King or M. Night Shyamalan, not the next Unabomber. We just don't know what's going on inside other peoples' heads, and it's not right for us to jump to conclusions and force everyone to be the same as everyone else. Do we really want to live in Stepford? I certainly don't.

We need to stop being afraid of our differences and re-learn to embrace them. Our acceptance of diversity is what used to make us great, and what turned us into a target for terrorism. If we retreat from diversity now, the terrorists win.

Iaccoca on Leadership

What he said...

Link

Honest Music Fans

Steve Jobs over at Apple recently published his thoughts on the current state of DRM and its future.

He points out that 90% of the world's music is sold without DRM by way of music CDs, and the music industry doesn't seem to have a problem with it. He challenges the music industry to stop insisting on DRM for Internet-based music sales when it's easy enough to rip a CD to MP3 and distribute it illegally.

I love my iPod, but the only things I download from the iTunes store are freely distributed podcasts and other free offers. I have a problem purchasing content that limits me to use on any given device. I do purchase music online, but I do it at eMusic, where I purchase MP3s that can play on any MP3 player and does not include DRM. All the other music on my iPod is ripped from CDs that I and my husband own. And while all this music is DRM-free, I don't turn around and distribute it illegally. What a concept; I'm not a crook.

I also believe in supporting the people who put out the free content that I like the best. I've been a regular subscriber to National Public Radio, starting when I only listened to them on the radio, but I continue subscribing today even though now I almost exclusively listen to NPR content by way of their podcasts. I've also been known to hit the "donate" button on my favorite podcasts, or for the folks who write and manage the audiobooks made available through Podiobooks.

The music industry seems to assume that anyone who buys a CD is an honest person, but anyone who hangs out on the Internet is bound and determined to get something for free. How outdated is that? The reality is that a lot of people are generous towards content providers that they really appreciate, and that most people are not crooks. It's a shame that the music industry doesn't understand this. Let's just fire all the lawyers and agree to get along, shall we?

Workplace Tithing

What is it with US businesses these days and enforced corporate giving?

Nearly everyone I know who works in a larger company endures regular high-pressure tactics to get employees to donate to the United Way. The higher you are in the company, the higher the pressure. And here's something else that I find interesting -- my company circulates a survey every year in an attempt to enforce corporate ethics. One of the questions on that survey is whether we have ever felt pressured to donate to a given organization as a condition of our employment. The kicker? They state right on that survey that the United Way is exempt from this question. I kid you not.

The few larger companies that don't go the United Way route seem to donate instead to some selected "local" charity. I'm grateful that the particular division I work for follows this latter path, because at least we don't have to endure the high-pressure practices of the United Way. But my company still makes sure that the donation drive is in everyone's faces throughout the "holiday season" (which gets earlier and earlier every year, by the way -- a blog rant all of its own that is sure to emerge someday soon), and does everything in their power to both single out people who haven't donated and to make them feel immensely guilty for not doing so.

Let me make something clear. I work 24 miles away from home. Any charity that's "local" to my office is not "local" to me, and I choose to donate my resources to charities that I believe in and that can make a difference in *my* neighborhood. Between my husband and I, we regularly donate money, time, and/or goods to the Vietnam Veterans, National Public Radio, the local animal shelter, and the local English as a Second Language program. These are programs that we believe in. These are programs that make a difference where we live. These are programs that we took the time to select and believe in strongly enough to do more than just write an occasional check. And in doing so, I have a feeling that we do more than most 30-something DINKs.

So I refuse to be pressured into giving to yet another charity, especially one that I didn't choose and that doesn't make a difference in my neighborhood, just so I can get an extra half day off sometime during the "holiday" season that I'll never use because I constantly work unpaid overtime anyway, or to get a tub of free ice cream that I can't eat because I'm immensely lactose intolerant.

I dread the day that my division decides it's too much work to fight the corporate United Way drive and gives in. Then I'll really open my big mouth. (And here you thought it was already open....)

Metra Spouses' Social Rules

My husband takes the train into Chicago for work every day, and after a year of people-watching in the train station parking lot, I can't help but giggle.

Most of the insanity surrounds the evening commute and the race to the parking lot exit. After an hour of sitting on the train, everyone wants to be the first in line at the stoplight. So they strategize, they plot, and they sabotage their fellow commuters.

Out-of-shape men sprint to their cars, followed closely by women lurching forward in spiked heels. They choose their parking spots carefully, strategically placed close enough to the tracks to cut their run-time short, but also close enough to the stoplight to cut off other commuters also aiming to be first in line. They always park in the first row, so they can pull straight out into the lane leading to the exit, and with their nose facing out. And heaven forbid you should be heading into the city yourself that day and you should take their parking spot out of ignorance. They'll give you dirty looks the entire time you're in their vicinity.

Once last winter, when the roads and sidewalks were particularly icy, my husband tells me that the conductor lectured everyone to not race to their cars, to be careful because the way was icy and dangerous, that their lives were more important than being the first one to the stoplight. Incredibly, most of the commuters that day actually didn't race to their cars. Most, not all. A few raced anyway. And the next day they were back to their old ways.

I've seen one idiot walk around the stopped train, hopping off the platform and crossing where there is no walkway -- only loose gravel and exposed rails. As he rounds the end of the stopped train, he blindly steps out to cross the second line of rails and runs the risk of being flattened by a train headed in the opposite direction. Dude -- is getting to dinner a few minutes earlier really worth risking your life?

But this insane race to the stoplight isn't limited to the people who park their cars at the station all day. It also extends to the Metra spouses who come to pick up commuters.

A few minutes before the train is due in, cars start to line both sides of the pickup lane, leaving enough width for about one car to pass through. The first cars to arrive take the choicest spots -- normal, right? Not so fast. Recently we've been getting the militant latecomers who think they're entitled to special treatment. They arrive last, pull into the space left in the lane for drive-thrus, and park, blocking everyone else's way and ensuring that they get to leave first. Rude, rude, rude.

Then there are the ones who parallel park in front of you and back up almost to your front bumper so that you can't get out until they leave. I've even had one of these turn off her car, get out, and go for a walk!

But the ones who really amuse me are the wives who drive a luxury SUV to the station to pick up their husband, jockey for the best exit position, then walk around to the passenger seat so that the husband can drive home. They leave the motor running and the driver's door open so their husbands can shave a millisecond off the time it takes them to get into the car and drive off. Umm, wouldn't it be faster to just jump in the passenger seat?

Most of the time I just sit back and laugh at these people -- they make for good comic relief at the end of a long day. But one of these days someone is going to get hurt, either in a car accident or in a stampede, and then it won't be so funny.

On Copyright Infringement

What is it about the digital age that makes everyone think that copyright has disappeared?

As scanners became more commonplace, my late uncle, a professional photographer, found himself having to defend his work from being illegally duplicated and used without any payment or attribution.

I subscribe to an email list for free ebooks (i.e., public domain books), and we constantly receive "I'm looking for" posts regarding free ebook formats of popular modern books still covered by copyright. Think Tom Clancy and John Grisham. Do you really think that these guys would make their works available for free?

Plagiarism was a minor problem when I was going to school, but today it's big business, with whole web services devoted toward helping teachers identify plagiarized material.

This morning, a friend just informed me that one of her poems was illegally reprinted in an anthology and is being sold by someone who never sought her permission.

Copyright doesn't just protect the big guys, like major record labels and Tom Clancy; it also protects the little people like you and me. I work hard to create my blog posts, fiction stories, and knitting patterns, and while I may choose to make some of them available for free, I expect my rights to be respected. No one has the right to use or make money on my work without express permission from me.

The law supports me without my having to lift a single finger -- technically I don't even need the copyright notice that I just added to the bottom of my blog. Any original material created since April of 1989 is automatically protected under U.S. copyright law, although my copyright footer strengthens my case, and official registration strengthens it even more. There's even a pretty cool concept called creative commons copyright that any creative person should look into.

Now I'll be the first to say that some of the copyright laws in this land have gone too far. As far as I'm concerned, if I buy a CD, I bought the music and should be able to listen to it in any form I want as long as I'm not broadcasting it or making money off of it. And the idea that the term of copyright gets extended every single time Mickey Mouse is about to enter the public domain smacks of big business interfering in Washington politics. But the founding principles behind copyright are good ones, and should not be infringed just because some idiots in Washington have attached a helluva lot of pork to them.

It's School Supply Season!

I love this time of year. Everywhere I go, colorful school supplies crowd store entrances and the "seasonal products" aisles. Notebooks, pens, binders, backpacks ... they all make me nostalgic, and I always end up caving in and buying at least a few things.

It's not that I loved school when I was a kid. The social game could be brutal, and while I was a decent student, I cherry-picked which subjects I'd pay attention to and ignored the rest as much as possible. But every fall held the promise of a do-over:

This year I'll be popular and have a boyfriend.
This year I'll get straight A's.
This year I'll write the great American novel, and be the next S. E. Hinton.

These never happened, of course, but I made the promises to myself anyway, like some people make New Year's resolutions. I'm still tempted to buy a brand-new notebook or binder every time I start a new project, because new supplies tend to put me in the right psychological place to believe that I might actually accomplish my goals.

The problem is that I really like the whimsically-designed school supplies that only crop up a few months of the year; the rest of the time I'm stuck with the bland offerings of the office supply stores. So every year I buy a few things, intending to hold them in reserve for the rest of the year when such imaginative designs are harder to come by. But they never last. New notebooks burn holes in my pockets just like money does for other people. I just can't resist virgin paper.

I don't think there's a cure for this particular obsession of mine, so I'll just muddle on as usual, buying a binder here and a pen there until the stores start running out of their supply in late September. See you in the "seasonal" aisle!

I'm Stinkin' Mad

In one day, The Supreme Idiot vetoes the stem cell bill calling for "moral scientific research", and the house passes a bill guarding the Pledge of Allegiance from challenges in Federal courts, including the Supreme Court.

The freaking Supreme Court!!! And not just any Supreme Court, but the one that singlehandedly put him in office in the first place, and that now sports not only one of his hand-picked judges, but also his hand-picked Chief Justice! What happened to checks and balances? What happened to Freedom of Speech and Religion? What happened to the CONSTITUTION???

The terrorists have won. It's official. Their attacks on our country have given the Xtian fundamentalists free reign to do with this country as they please, Constitution be damned.

Let me tell you a little story.

I was on jury duty a few years ago here in Lake County, Illinois. I showed up to do my duty, willingly and with no complaints. A judge came in to welcome us and we recited the Pledge. As always, when it came to "under god," I chose that time to breathe and not say anything. I joined back in at "indivisible."

Mine was a silent, respectful protest. I didn't make a face. I didn't refuse to stand, I didn't refuse to hold my hand over my heart, and I didn't refuse to recite the rest of the Pledge. Not only was I simply silent for two little words, but I even gave those who disagree with me the respect of covering my refusal with the biological need to breathe. I consider myself a Patriot, and I was happy to be there in the courthouse to do my civic duty. I proudly recited, and continue to recite, the Pledge with the exception of those two little words.

I was standing in the front row, right in front of the judge. He must have seen me, because immediately after we all finished the Pledge, he looked straight at me and commented that he always likes to start out that way after the "stupidity" of the challenges that had recently been lodged against the Pledge in California. Yes, a judge publicly called me "stupid."

I didn't say anything. I didn't know if I'd find myself in contempt of court. But I was pissed. And, before you ask, no, I didn't get his name. I wish I had. I would have made sure to publicize this story the next time he came up for election.

This is how marginalized non-Xtians are in this country. We're not even given respect when we exercise our freedom of speech, or in this case non-speech. When we complain, we're told that the country's founding fathers were Xtian, and that if we don't like it we can leave. Yeah. How free is that?

Now not only can we not challenge the Pledge in the courts, but we also have to have our medical futures decided by a religion that is not ours, and that's just today. They're still working on taking away our reproductive rights and our civil liberties one library book at a time. Oh, and let's not forget that they lied to us so that we sent our loved ones overseas only for some of them to die without the benefit of a headstone that incorporates our religious symbols, shall we?

The leadership of this country is turning into a fundamentalist regime as bad as the Taliban. If you're an open-minded Xtian, I feel sorry for you. Your president is giving you an awfully, awfully bad name.

The Making of a Multi-Tasking Reader

I started reading early. I was the favorite babysitting gig in town, because I sat there reading all night and needed very little attention. My father claims that my horrible eyesight is the result of reading in any and all lighting conditions, including the light of passing street lights from the back seat of our brown station wagon, or the flickering glow of a flashlight in need of new batteries and hidden under the tulip-printed comforter of my bed.

I'd spend every summer peddling my bicycle back and forth to the public library to check out more books, or walking through the neighborhood to the brand new Waldenbooks store they opened in the nearest strip mall. I usually had a few books waiting in the wings, but not many, and I never read more than one book at a time.

And then we started reading "literature" in school.

In the fourth grade, they wanted us to read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, a book that sounded sorta interesting, but I was in the middle of reading something else at home. "No matter," I was told. "Read this one for school, and keep reading the other one in your spare time."

I didn't get it. Follow two stories at once? How does a person do that?

I didn't, in the end. I drastically reduced the reading I did for fun because I just couldn't get the knack of following two different stories unraveling themselves at the same time across several days. I'd always identified myself as a reader, so when I wasn't anywhere near the top of the list of students participating in the readathon fund raiser, I was horribly embarrassed.

The school year mercifully ended, and I went back to my summer routine, reading voraciously. I was happier, and I realized that the books I had been required to read for school weren't necessarily what I would have chosen for myself. I had discovered that there were books out there that I just didn't like. What a concept.

That idea was driven home in the fifth grade, when the social studies teacher required that we read Johnny Tremain. Horrible stuff. No girls, no fairy godmothers, and no romance arc, set in a time that I didn't understand and couldn't relate to. I hated it and rebelled, reading stuff of my own choosing. JT was the first book I never finished and the first novel I read in parallel to another novel. And a multi-tasking reader was born.

Now I read several books at once -- usually a smattering of nonfiction along with a few novels. The nonfiction is easy to keep straight, but the novels are a different story. To this day, I can't read more than one novel in the same genre at the same time. Two murder mysteries? I lose track of which clue belongs with which killing. Two fantasy novels? I mismatch supernatural powers and heroines. Two romance novels? Who is doing ... well, let's not go there. You get my point. I mix my genres.

I also mix my mediums. I read dead tree editions, both paperback and hardcover, as well as ebooks on my Treo. I also listen to audiobooks on my commutes when I'm not listening to one of a gazillion podcasts that I download on a weekly basis. And now I've discovered podiobooks. Be still my multi-tasking heart. Anyway, I pick up a book in a medium that suits my current situation, and the mediums also help me to keep the plots or information apart.

Do they have readathons for adults? I think I'm ready now.